Subtle manoeuvres.
Tuesday, 31st January 2023“You can’t live the normal conventional life, as much as you may want to. You have a sliver of a skill that you can do that is maybe marketable, if you can make it marketable. But there’s no choice. There’
-Steven Pressfield
Yesterday, on my morning walk, I listened to Rich Roll’s podcast episode with writer Steven Pressfield. I love Steven’s book, The War of Art. The episode was incredibly insightful and you should definitely check it out if you’re at all interested in the creative life.
As you probably know, I am fascinated by artists. How they choose to live, how they make the things they make, how they think. I get a lot of inspiration and ideas for my own creative output and daily rituals from the lives of artists.
I would love to be an artist. Although, Austin Kleon writes about how you should focus on the verb, rather than the noun, which is a good reminder.
Chapter 3 of ‘Keep Going’.
I love this quote by Franz Kafta;
“...if a pleasant and straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres.”
Kafka worked a regular 9-5 at the Worker’s Accident Insurance Institute in Prague by day, and wrote only when he had time - at night, when everyone else was asleep in his ‘cramped apartment’, where he lived with his family. He felt that his day job hindered his creative output, and was frustrated at how much it took out of him.
I spend a lot of my time wondering about the creative journey. I spend a lot of my time wondering about why I’m on the creative journey. I used to wonder why I couldn’t shake the creative life. I couldn’t figure out why I was unable to escape the creative lane.
“Every child is an artist. The problem is to remain an artist when you grow up.”-Pablo Picasso
I remember thinking like, “Why can’t I just get a good job and keep my head down like everyone else? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be satisfied with what everyone else is satisfied with?”
I’ve tried to change lanes. I’ve tried to ditch film, and ditch art (because sometimes it’s too hard and too complicated), and just get a job that makes sense and that I like.
But it just leaves me empty. It feels like there’s something missing.
I don’t feel like I have some ‘higher calling’ or any of that rubbish. But I just can’t settle for a life without creative expression. I’ve tried, and I just can’t. And I used to resent that. I used to wonder why that was.
But now I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I have to be creative. It’s not really a choice. And I think those that live out their creativity will know exactly what I mean. I hope this doesn’t sound too pretentious. I’m trying to be as self-aware as possible here. I do believe that we are all creative, in our own unique and beautiful way. And I also believe that there are those of us who live our creativity, and those of us who leave it for the weekend, or a spare few minutes or hours here and there.
What’s important is that we do the work.
Another quote from that podcast with Steven Pressfield; talking about his creative outlet of being a writer, he says,
“It’s like you’re treading water in the middle of the ocean. There is no alternative? You either keep going or you drown.”
That’s what I’m doing. I’m not overthinking the options. I’m not overthinking the ‘why’s. To be honest, there isn’t much to think about. Only doing. Verbs, not nouns.
So here’s to wriggling through by subtle manoeuvres.